Spring

It’s no secret that I adore spring. The first signs of green always pull me forward, as if something inside me has been waiting all winter to breathe again.

Lately, that shift has felt bigger than just the season.

My mindset is lighter, steadier. Grief is still here - it always will be - but it’s no longer a noose around my neck. These days it sits more like a ring on my finger: part of me, but not all of me.

The weight of bad days

Let’s get this out in the open: it’s ok to have a shit day. Say it out loud if you need to. I spent too long pushing feelings down until they came out sideways — anger, sharpness, the cracks showing. It never worked.

The poet Kahlil Gibran once wrote, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.”

To feel the bad fully is also to clear space for the good. So when the weight builds, I let it out - a breakdown, a walk, a refresh. Otherwise it crushes you.

Small rituals

I’ve brought meditation back into my days. Nothing fancy, just a few minutes when I feel anxiety clawing at my chest. A pause, a reset. It’s astonishing how three minutes can feel like fresh spring air rushing through you.

(If you’re looking to try it, Calm has been my go-to, though Headspace is also solid.)

I’m also back in the gym, eating better, and letting myself actually enjoy the process. Balance is everything. Yes, I’ll still eat cake, but my why carries me further than any diet rule ever did.

Nietzsche said, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Turns out, he was onto something.

Mindset and people

A positive mindset isn’t about ignoring the dark. It’s about facing it directly, seeing it clearly, and not letting it pile into a mountain you can’t climb.

I’m lucky. My circle is solid. We check in, pull each other up, give space when needed. They are my safe places, where I can say the darkest, twistiest thoughts to, knowing they won’t judge. Sometimes you just need to get words out of your head before they fester.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too?’” — C.S. Lewis.

That’s exactly it.

Seeds and soil

Where I am this spring: planting seeds, both literally and figuratively.

Getting my hands into the earth, pausing to ask myself simple questions...

Can I be kinder? Is someone I love struggling? Could I reach out?

Sometimes mindfulness isn’t sitting in silence, it’s slowing down enough to notice the soil under your nails or the sunlight shifting across a room.

Allana x